Comments on Mature Landscaping: Sticking It To The Joy Mongers

Lordy lord... I can't believe I missed this on...

2011-01-09T14:06:32.056-05:00

Lordy lord... I can't believe I missed this on your blog, Nance (I really should stop by more often).

This is music to my ears, from your fascination with the field dating back to your teen years (been there, done that) to declaring psych dead and with a vengeance (been there, still there).

The positive psychology movement is downright revolting and as empty as... whatever empty thing comes to mind, insert it here. The previous Important Psychological Movements are either corrupt or debunked, or both -- and certainly inadequate in dealing with the complex reality of our existence.

But I am holding out teeny tiny hope for the theory of positive disintegration -- please look it up when you have a moment. This theory grabbed me when I was 15 and is responsible for my peripatetic journey through the field.

In a nutshell, it posits that inner conflict, doubts, anxieties and even psychic crises are essential for our development. It is deeply humane and existential in its outlook on life -- and that's probably why it'll never become fully accepted in the US.

I wish I had more time to spend on your wonderful, wonderful blog. Sigh.

Myths, meaning-of-life stories, and whole philosop...

2009-12-30T20:06:38.254-05:00

Myths, meaning-of-life stories, and whole philosophies (even some theologies) are built on these questions. Eastern philosophies have seemed to me to do the best job embracing paradoxical answers. And finally, with Amanda Rose, we wind up simply describing our own experiences as honestly as possible. Wet pants/dry pants. Didn't she do it beautifully?

Amanda Rose makes an interesting point. Is sadnes...

2009-12-30T18:20:32.243-05:00

Amanda Rose makes an interesting point. Is sadness and happiness relative? If so, in what portions – time, depth, intensity? Would we be willing to have a year of sadness for a year of happiness – alternate every year? Silly idea, of course not.
How much sadness must one experience before they KNOW joy? Could we become fearful of sadness if we were mostly happy? What about intensity – is the death of dear one relative to the birth of a dear child? Sometimes joy is just relief from pain – that’s relative. We usually have a reason to be sad but do we need a reason to be happy? Does being thankful play a part in this? Is it possible that Adam and Eve didn’t know how good they had it till they blew it? If I am overall a happy person, do I need a dose of sadness to keep my happiness going?

I have the most eloquent friends in the sphere! ...

2009-12-30T08:03:19.349-05:00

I have the most eloquent friends in the sphere!

A follow-up: Got the book at last. The quotation at top of post was found after I'd published, on NPR's website, and was added on later. Re-reading that intro and the first chapters, I'm pleased to find that I anticipated some of Ehrenreich's arguments. I'm even more pleased to find that it was worth paying full price for the hardback. That's both my thumbs up.

Wow. I have two take aways from this post. One, ...

2009-12-29T22:31:51.688-05:00

Wow.

I have two take aways from this post.

One, I'm really glad that I was otherwise occupied and managed to miss every pop psychology wave that has broken over us during my adulthood. Not that I'm particularly well-adjusted; I just never bothered to try and improve on the hand I was dealt. (Feel free to pity those around me.)

Two, I'm really sad that I was otherwise occupied and never learned to express myself as you do, seemingly effortlessly. (Even worse, I write much better than I dance...)

As always, your posts are well worth the read, both for the analysis and the prose.

2009-12-29T19:58:24.097-05:00

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Addendum. "You can't have a light withou...

2009-12-29T16:22:39.972-05:00

Addendum.

"You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in." ~ Arlo Guthrie

I find it completely necessary to experience sad i...

2009-12-29T16:06:51.146-05:00

I find it completely necessary to experience sad in order to know and appreciate happy, and vice versa. ...The same way that I know and have recognized my newfound appreciation for dry pants. When it rains, I get soaked up to the knee...every time. When I'm miserable and walking around in wet pants, I look forward to the dry ones...and when they happen (I get home to change), it's warm, and dry, and great. Because I know the difference. I like to know the difference.

Bravo! Some of my friends and my dear sister becam...

2009-12-29T00:59:03.932-05:00

Bravo! Some of my friends and my dear sister became fans of "The Secret" after Oprah's glowing endorsement of its power. I made a little faux pas and referred to the book as bullshit designed to make you feel even more worthless when you were already in the dumps. If I'm not successful, it doesn't exactly do a lot for my mood to tell me that I just need to tap into some mumbo jumbo philosophy of envisioning my success. If I don't achieve a major trn around, I have only myself to blame because I failed to truly tap into my inner core and visualize what I want. I think that a lot of this pseudo psychology is designed to maintain the status quo. I think that it is a brilliant way to keep those who do not have from demanding a share of the wealth. Convince people that what they lack is because of what's lacking in them and you lull them into a belief that once they fully discover the "secret" that they too will stand on the top of the heap.

BTW, I wasn't invited back to our informal self-help group, which was okay because it met on Monday evenings and I was having to record 24. I'd rather watch it in real time.

You're welcome! It's risky stuff, listeni...

2009-12-28T23:25:23.060-05:00

You're welcome! It's risky stuff, listening to your own brain, but I've got real faith in yours.

Brilliant! Bold – thank you! I’m going to fling ...

2009-12-28T20:19:46.831-05:00

Brilliant! Bold – thank you! I’m going to fling my gauze serape of positive attitude off my shoulders like an evil flutterby – RIP. This daily enwrapment has been preventing me from a self kick-in-the butt. (“Reality – What a concept!” – Robin Williams). Your words have given me a release from the worry of all that positive projection. Good friends hear you out although it’s not necessary to dump on friends every time you see them.

You’re right – sad happens; I wonder at myself – all the times I put my life in perspective by comparing it to all the others who are suffering more; it helps me appreciate that things could be worse but it really doesn’t alleviate when I’m struggling too.

Nance wrote: “I personally prefer to feel more at home in my brain than to argue with it every time it notices that something is wrong.” Brilliant.

Thank you, my dear; you’ve fueled some embers that I needed to stoke. Brilliant.

Deep thoughts, Nance! Wow my brain cells are a li...

2009-12-28T19:41:10.466-05:00

Deep thoughts, Nance! Wow my brain cells are a little sunburned and not firing on all cylinders, but we had a great Xmas and I hope you did, too! Did Santa bring you anything? Skylar got dolls, barbies, books, and loved it all! We head back to AZ on Wed and we're putting the house on the market over the weekend and plan to be back in SD soon! Sometimes you dont know what you've got til it's gone and we're so excited to go back "Home" again. It was for almost 6 yrs and we're excited to go back. Maybe I'll bump into you yet there :)
xoxo