Surveying the landscape of aging in post-postmodern America with compassion, wit and a liberal slant. Only intermittently mature.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Into The Fog

It's been a befogging, sorrowing, sickening week in San Diego and I feel very old.  This post will stumble around in the mist.
The kidnapping, rape, and murder of  17 year old Chelsea King and the arrest of her suspected killer, a registered sex offender, has broken the heart of this city.  John Gardner III, the accused, faces additional charges for another assault with intent to rape that took place on December 27th, 2009... at the same Rancho Bernardo park where Chelsea King was abducted. Gardner is also being investigated in the case of Amber Dubois, who has been missing for 13 months.  Today, it was reported that Amber's skeletal remains have finally been found in North San Diego County near Escondido. It's possible, but not confirmed, that Amber was found based on tips police received following the discovery of Chelsea King's body.  John Gardner lived about two miles from the high school that 14 year old Amber attended.  There's a spreading heart-sickness here.
The University of California at San Diego badly bungled its handling of the blatantly racist "Compton Cookout," an off-campus party linked to the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity.  After first distancing the school from the Presidents' Day party, administrators eventually offered a lame Teach-In to "educate students" in racial sensitivity...which makes me wonder what UCSD's students had been learning about race relations prior to this incident. Tensions escalated when students discovered a noose hanging in the library. And then a Klan-style hood was found on a statue of Dr. Seuss at the UCSD campus. There's some apparent mind-sickness here.
The weather has fit the city's mood:  low, dark, heavy cloud; cold temperatures; and another week of intermittent rain.  Fog shrouds the mountains around the city.  San Diego needs this rain after more than a year of drought that turned the entire city a dull dun. Those foggy mountains sport the carcasses of burned-out trees from the previous year's forest fires...some of them nearly overgrown with new green as long-dormant plants flourish. Maybe the area will be safer from fire this summer,  but you can tell San Diego's people have to work hard to remind themselves to be glad of the heavy weather.  There's widespread mildew of the spirit here.
I've been trying for days to come up with a fitting post.  Ideas have sparked through my mind, but the souring national news and the sorrowing local news have drowned each one.  I've become heart-sick and mind-sick and dull-spirited for the time being. And maybe a little dim-witted, too.  I know these conditions will lift, but, for the moment, I'm just putting one foot in front of the other, one word behind the next.
I didn't realize how much I was affected until this morning.  We were on our way in the rain to the 11:30 service of the First Unitarian-Universalist Church of San Diego, the first church I've attended since my kids were small and I was attempting to introduce them to the religion of their forebears.  I love this UU church (I never thought I would utter that sentiment again in my life). They describe themselves as "a vibrant, Welcoming Congregation, open to all regardless of age, race, gender, religion, or affectional orientation."  I would add, "Or lack, thereof."  We found them three years ago, when my beautiful, big-hearted daughter asked if we'd be interested in checking out the UU's with her.  Since then, when we're here, we're there.  If I could sell my house back home, and if I could afford to live here, the incredibly smart, wise, diverse people of this church would be reason enough to move. No one who seeks inclusive community and growth would feel out of place here. This is the first group of any kind that I've found to embrace with my whole heart and mind. But I've digressed...into the one clear spot in the fog that I've found all week.


To refocus... I realized on my way to the UU Church this morning that I could not remember why we are in Afghanistan.  I hope I'm not stupid, but I may have grown extremely dull lately.  I just couldn't recall a reason for our war there that made sense to me.  I thought of our War on Terror, but I could think of no front.  I thought of Bin Laden, but we believe that Al Qaeda does not rely on centralized leadership so much now.  All the obvious and touted reasons arose and none of them would take root this morning.  I had to ask my husband, who answered, "9/11, Bin Laden, War on Terror."  The fog wouldn't lift for me.
Yesterday morning, I read a post by jack-of-all-thumbs, on Self-Sufficient Steward, called "Looking For Laurels, In All The Wrong Places"  about the kids at risk in Afghanistan, and I started crying (jack's posts often spark me).  Maybe it was the cold, the gray, the rain, the fog.  Maybe it was reading about the stalker my friend Beth has picked up on Nutwood Junction; maybe it was the powerfully courageous post my friend Sheria published on depression at The Examined Life; maybe I'm just getting old, foggy, and thin-skinned.    
The UU Church is sponsoring a film viewing and discussion with Afghanistan vets on March 18th, entitled "Rethink Afghanistan."  Ours is a military family; this is a military town where we feel at home; my husband retired from the Air Force and we have military active duty family members; we are not Peaceniks by Default...we like to think we're not anything by default, but, when my husband and I want to learn what is meant by a "just war," we watch WWII documentaries.  The two of us are thinking we'll be there at the UU meeting to do a little rethinking. 
Meanwhile, if any of you can think of a convincing argument in favor of continuing the war in Afghanistan...something other than the reason most of the kids who are there give, which is "to look out for my buddies here"...by all means, fill me in.  If you can't, let me hear you. I want to be sharp, clear-headed, un-befogged, when I go to hear what the veterans have to say.  What say you?


[images: SEAN M. HAFFEY / UNION-TRIBUNE;.net/images/otaymountainfog.jpg;  notinhd.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/san-diego]

14 comments:

  1. (1) UCSD: A group of dumb white frat guys hold an event called a “Compton Cookout.” This pisses people off as it used Black History Month as a reason to mock black people with racist stereotypes. Also involved is some idiot who tries to use this opportunity for shameless self-promotion, who also happens to be black. To say the least, the guy is basically a wannabe Flavor Flav.

    (2) UCSD: Another dumb white frat guy gets mad that blacks are offended of being relegated to a bigoted stereotype. He tries to hold another racist event.

    (3) UCSD: Meanwhile, a terrible student media publication (which, after viewing their website consists of all white staff, nudity, staff wrestling each other, and well, not much else), pushes their limits calling black students “ungrateful n—-” – not just that word, but also that apparently the black students owed them something. They have a reputation of being trashy, and at this point, administration and faculty rush to condemn racism by students of the campus and various protests begin. Funding is also cut from all student media at UCSD, creating an extra bitter controversy.

    (4) UCSD: On Friday of that week, a noose is found in the library. Everything gets worked in a frenzy and – something I’ll address later – a large amount of white commenter’s on the internet begin claiming that is was probably a black student who planted it in order to gain more sympathy. In addition, there are rumors of a threatening note sent to the Guardian and a second noose, there was no second noose, and the threat seems to be just a rumor.

    (5) UCSD: Protests basically happen at all schools in support of the students. There are various sit-ins, and teach-ins, and what have you. School administrators become pushed to be more active in fixing what’s going on.

    I have not seen this noose person, but most of you blame her and conveniently forget wear this all originated.

    Instead of an apology there has been steady escalation and now the noose. So, what exactly will the excuses be for this cowardly act that brings up memories of the confederate KKK of the South in their attempts to keep slavery and the non-whites in fear? Is it that are uneducated, is it that their parents planted these seeds of hate, is it that they are live in fear because our President in the white house is not 100% white. In my opinion this is what the small portions of the republican party of “birthers, baggers and blowhards” have brought you. These kids are good at “Follow the Leader” of their dullard leaders, they listen to Beck, Hedgecock, Hannity, O’Reilly, Rush and Savage and the rest of the Blowhards, they are young and dumb. Are you surprise at what they do when you know what they think? The world is complicated and most republicans (Hamiliton, Lincoln, Roosevelt) believe that we should use government a little to increase social mobility, now its about dancing around the claim of government is the problem. The sainted Reagan passed the biggest tax increase in American history and as a result federal employment increased, but facts are lost when mired in mysticism and superstition. Although most republicans are trying to distant themselves from this fringe they have a long way to go.
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  2. Nance this is quite the post...I have to say since moving, I dont pay attn to regional events in the area. Heck I hardly know who the president is but i can tell you who ate what kind of nut butter on what kind of oats this morning in utah. Anyway, Amber. Some homeschooling friends knew her. And I know many who personally searched for her a year ago. And the parks in No. County were frequented many a time by Skylar and I and our homeschooling posse. Life is precious and short. Dear lord this was a post. Have a peaceful night Nance. It's miserably cold, rainy, windy, dreary and awful here too.
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  3. Sorry you're feeling quite blue. The news startles me every morning. When will we protect our women and girls from these sick individuals. We need stronger laws. I was terribly upset by the young woman who was held a prisoner for 28 years. If this were happening to men would the laws and punishment change...probably.
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  4. The initial attack was to eliminate the Al Quada training camps, with a secondary and subsequent mission to prevent the Taliban from taking over the country. The first endeavor is to combat terror, the second mission is to allow women freedom to work, to go to school, and to not be subjegated.
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  5. I can't send you sunshine, Nance, since your gloom is glomming over my way, too. We're all a little SAD here where we come to rely on the skies to brighten and lighten our load. And Afghanistan and murdered children and UC students in a military town embroiled in an ugly imbroglio.... sounds like a massage and a nap are called for.

    Clarity is a fleeting blue sky in the eye of the storm; I'm grateful when I find it and am trying to be un-surprised when I don't. It seems that the older I get, the less I seem to really know.
    a/b
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  6. Thanks, Ken; you're right about the official goals. Freeing women from oppression and educating girls is hard to argue with, too, until I remember reading that illiteracy in Afghanistan is the norm for both sexes.

    And then I read (Time Mag)of the experience of the troops as they try to train the Afghans toward our sensibilities: "..training Afghan police officers. Almost all the recruits were illiterate. 'They've had no experience at learning. You sit them in a room and try to teach them about police procedures — they start gabbing and knocking about. You talk to them about the rights of women, and they just laugh.'"

    And I read in today's NYTimes that Karzai made a visit to Marja to speak with the newly "liberated" residents. "But residents made it painfully clear that his government was despised here for the corrupt, violent officials who preyed on Marja for much of the past decade before the Taliban arrived. In fact, residents say, the depredations of government officials here largely explain why the Taliban and their more effective administration of power and justice became so dominant in Marja in the first place."

    I read these things and realize that it will take another decade in Afghanistan to realize our initial stated goals and the ones we've tacked on...subsequently and secondarily. And I think about that controversial July, 2011, troop withdrawal issue. I think about the DoD expenditures that threaten to bankrupt us. And the Deficit Reduction Commission, which is about to create a war on Medicare and Social Security. I think about all this and the fog thickens.
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  7. Yes...There are "just" wars and then there are wars of rationalization.
    Our involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan is much like our involvement in Vietnam.
    thanks for inviting my comment
    A combat Marine veteran.
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  8. Ah Nance, sometimes the only thing to do is to take a break from thinking. As my Aunt Dorothy warns, "Too much thinking will make your head explode." I have no idea where she has witnessed this exploding head phenomena. Hobbes proposes that we ae in a constant state of war and what we mistake as peace is simply the absence of war, but it is not really peace, just a respite until the fighting resumes. All the ugly bits add up and wash over us in waves sometimes. I think that John Donne summed it up, "The death of any man diminishes me." I would not give up the ability to feel and I sense that you would not do so either, but there is a price to pay for fully being a part of all humankind. Be well, my friend.
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  9. OK, on thin ice here, particularly since my own post fed the flames. But I am not as opposed to the war in Afghanistan as I was to the war in Iraq. Perhaps it's ideological blinders (my guy is now the POTUS), or maybe it's more than that.

    The war in Iraq should never have happened. End of commentary on that.

    The war in Afghanistan had more 'honest' roots (see Ken/Bucko's comment). But I agree that that's not enough. However, hellish though their job is (and INFINITELY more difficult than the job in Iraq), the U.S troops in Afghanistan MAY well make the world a safer place. Because the 21st century is a world in which bioterror and dirty bombs and jet planes and vulnerable targets like nuke plants and LPG terminals exist. And those are potent weapons and large targets for small groups of zealots; crazies which will always exist under one flag or another, or one faith or another. And in a world where an individual can travel the globe in a day, such nests of individuals must not be allowed to flourish, just as weeds must be addressed in the garden when small and vulnerable. So, failed states such as Afghanistan or Somalia are a problem. For everyone. By definition, they are unsupervised and thus uncontrolled.

    So, Obama is rolling the dice with very long odds. Costing precious lives as a result. But if Afghanistan and the tribal areas of Pakistan can be modestly returned to the rule of law, it may indeed make the world a safer place.

    Am I 100% on board? Absolutely not.

    But I need to trust again. And he and his team are the best option I've had since.....
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  10. You're right, Jack; it comes down to how much distrust I can stand, how closely I can bear to watch, and still carry on in tough times. I function in waves...periods of greater trust in leadership and periods of less; periods of more questioning and study of national and international issues and periods of focus on matters closer to home, like voting with my fork or meditating regularly; periods where I retreat into distractions and all the denial I can lay hands on and periods of attempts at a reality check.

    Mine is a limited amount of courage that dwindles with age, which is why I now try to limit drinking from the information fire hydrant. Thanks for closing the circle on this post.
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  11. Since you're always 3 steps ahead of me, I'll assume you've read Three Cups of Tea. If you haven't, you must. There is hope in the world.
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  12. I have NOT read Greg Mortenson, but I have co-read him. Co-reading is what I call it when my DH is reading something he loves so much, he shares passages, impressions, and reviews until I feel I've read it myself. It awaits me as soon as I return to the Right Coast. Thanks for the recommendation!
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  13. I had not realized it before, but after attending a lecture at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Naples, Florida,I now see that thinking of the Taliban in terms of a single, homogeneous lump is a a mistake. The fanatics who figured early on in news reports (and that shaped my thinking) turn out to represent a fairly small number. Other Taliban types are not rigidly committed to religious fanaticism. As a matter of self-interest they simply align themselves with the power broker du jour. The lecturer (Jim Kenney, a polymath in the UU tradition) did not argue in favor of the U.S. military leaving altogether, but thought our presence could and should be greatly reduced.
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  14. Hi Nance,

    Going down your blog, extremely long posts but worthwhile reading, I read this one where you mentioned again Afghanistan.

    First, let me tell you, the US is not the only country involved. Most NATO countries are there "protecting liberty at the Hindukush"

    I have been there twice as a tourist before the Soviet invasion and wrote a non-tourist post about it here

    http://washingwithoutgettingwet-georg.blogspot.com/2008/02/afghanistan-what-are-we-doing-there.html

    The "war" down there is not winnable. First our soldiers don't fight, they just try to stay alive (each dead soldier causes a stir in the media). So they exchange fire behind sand bags or cross the country as fast as the potholes allow. Then they talk to the villagers, sip some tea and try to be social. Now the latest find in strategy seems to be to buy the enemy. A wad of dough to this or that tribal chief or clansman to make him stay put. Motto: it worked so well in Irak, why not here?

    My idea: let's bail out, cut our losses and send the secret service in. This is a typical job for these people.

    Georg
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